New Handle It episodes every Saturday!
If you're still interested, send an email to email@example.com and we'll notify you when more sets becomes available.
All current orders will begin shipping the week of May19th.
We heard you want to be epic chefs so we put together the tools and the schooling to get you there.
Get your hands on the 12 piece Cooking Arsenal now and watch Handle It every week so you can perfect your skills without using your mom's cookware like a fucking loser.
The cooking Arsenal includes:
When you're cooking up tasty treats in your frying pan, you want to finish every single bite of that delicious goodness. That's why there's nothing worse than half the meal staying stuck to the bottom of the pan. The dumb thing can't even enjoy it.
30cm or 12" Open Fry Pan
You know what's better than a gallon of pork-filled chili? Two gallons of pork-filled chili. This EpicMealTime-engraved sonovabitch fits 2 gallons of volume for you to boil a kiddy pool's worth of water, make your very own bootleg liquor syrup, or prep any sort of next-level creation you have planned.
24cm or 8qt Covered Stockpot
Sometimes less is more. When the big pot is too much volume, grab the "Get Sauced" Pan to make some SMART toppings and sauces. Don't be afraid to get creative. That's how a real Sauce Boss does it!
18cm or 2qt Covered Saucepan
No longer do you need to dice up your food with the top half of a broken beer bottle! Try our Santoku and Paring knives to slice your way to Big Baller status. These were forged by taking steel weights from the gym and heating them to astronomical temperatures and then pounded on by the fists of MusclesGlasses to form the shape you see before you.
6.5" Santoku Knife & 3.5" Paring Knife
Does a mechanic work on a car without the proper tools? Does a brain surgeon conduct surgery without the proper tools? So why would you go to work in the kitchen without all your essential tools? With the EpicMealTime spatula, tongs and slotted spoon, you'll be able to flip, grab and stir like someone who knows what they're doing.
12" tongs, 14" Slotted Turner and 14" Slotted Spoon
If you're not making a mess while you're cooking, then you're obviously not doing it right. Use the EpicMealTime cutting board to keep the mess under control and keep clean-up time to a minimum. The grooves on the edge catch fluids from anything you’re butchering. Nobody needs a bloody countertop.
14" x 10" x 0.2" Cutting Board with Juice Well
The cooking sheet is the utility player of the kitchen. There are countless uses for this item, but our most common is for laying strips of delicious bacon. You could also roast a meat log, bake cookies, or smash you neighbor Gary over the head. The possibilities are endless!
15" by 10" Carbon Steel Cookie Sheet
It allows you to maximize your potential in the kitchen and create your very own epic meals. Also, the EpicMealTime Cooking Arsenal used to drive a Lambo and date three strippers at once. If that isn't awesome then I don't know what is.
It's going to be a platform for the stupid to get learned on some smart culinary techniques and recipes.
You can get the cooking set and follow along with our educational cooking show. Also, how about you read a fucking book? EpicMealTime cookbook available at shop.epicmealtime.com
The chance to hone your skills and join a brotherhood of fucked up culinary geniuses.
It makes the sound of 1,000 women orgasming.
We guarantee you get your dick sucked*. Also, the EpicMealTime Cooking Arsenal will come with a limited lifetime warranty. It is warranted to be free from defects in material and workmanship for the limited lifetime of the ware; so long as it is used for its intended purpose, and according to the use and care instructions provided.
This warranty does not cover damage caused by accident, misuse, abuse, alteration to product or damage caused from commercial use.
*Dick sucking not guaranteed
Of course. We stuff 5 birds inside of a pig and then did that 12 times and attached them ass to mouth. Does it look like we fuck around when it comes to our cookware?
Our products are made to order. Your credit card will be charged for the entire amount of the product(s) upon placing your order. Prices are quoted in US dollars. Our acceptance of your order does not constitute confirmation of our offer to sell. We reserve the right at any time after receiving your order to accept or decline your order for any reason. If we cancel your order after you have been charged, we will refund the charged amount.
You may cancel your order for a full refund within 14 days from the day of your purchase. The reason why we do not allow cancellations beyond the 14 days is because the manufacturing process will have already begun.
Merchandise will be shipped in approximately 3 months (depending on your location) after the pre-order window closes. Merchandise can only be shipped to the billing address on the credit card you use to purchase the items. Shipment dates are an estimate only and are subject to change. Since the actual delivery of your order can be impacted by many events beyond our control, we cannot be held liable for any delayed shipments or deliveries.
Upon receipt of your merchandise, you should promptly open it and carefully inspect the product(s) you purchased. If the products were damaged during shipment or are otherwise defective, you should promptly email Customer Service (firstname.lastname@example.org) to arrange a return/replacement product to be sent to you. Except for our mistakes in shipping to the wrong address, any refused deliveries will not be accepted or refunded by us.
Made to order products are made specifically for you and are not returnable, unless the products were damaged during shipment or are defective and returned in accordance with the product's limited warranty. See Pre-Order Terms of Sale for more details.